put your arms around my soul and take it dancing

You know what just pushes my buttons? Fake people.

Fake people are backstabbing liars who will be nice to your face, but the moment you turn your back to them they will be the first to make a rude comment or say cruel things about you. Some of these folk will only be nice to you if they need something or if it benefits them in some way. Sometimes they will even act like they are your friend and actually hold a good conversation with you when no one is around... but that quickly goes away the moment certain other people come into the picture and are hanging around. When this happens its like you no longer exist in their world. If you have something to say at that time (whether it has something to do with the current conversation that the others are holding or not), best bet is that they won't even acknowledge what you just said or take it seriously. No matter what happens, they carry on their conversation and still don't include you.

A lot of fake people are usually just selfish, only caring about themselves and how they can benefit from any given situation. They always have this need to be the center of attention and if someone else is getting that attention, even for a minute, they will either pout or do what ever it is that will put that spotlight back on them.

I love how some fakers say how much they hate drama, but they are usually the first ones to talk crap about others or start rumors. It is sad that these people need to be the center of attention, talk bad about others, lie to their supposed "friends", and be sneaky on a daily basis. Those supposed "friends" could be the ones who would do anything for that person, but he/she will just push them aside and acts as if they could care less.


sorry for the ranting!!! their have just been way too many fake people in my life and it just irritates and upsets me. i just had to get it all out haha

ok im going to go back to being my happy self now =P

ALANIS MORISSETTE
right through you

Alanis is a great artist/song writer. Her lyrics are just amazing. My favorite album of hers is Jagged Little Pill because it is filled with anger and angst and emotion all which i can relate to!!


Right Through You is my song of the moment so check it out!



Wait a minute man
You mispronounced my name
You didn't wait for all the information
Before you turned me away
Wait a minute sir
You kind of hurt my feelings
You see me as a sweet back-loaded puppet
And you've got meal ticket taste

I see right through you
I know right through you
I feel right through you
I walk right through you

You took me for a joke
You took me for a child
You took a long hard look at my ass
And then played golf for a while
Your shake is like a fish
You pat me on the head
You took me out to wine dine 69 me
But didn't hear a damn word I said

I see right through you
I know right through you
I feel right through you
I walk right through you

Hello Mr. Man
You didn't think I'd come back
You didn't think I'd show up with my army
And this ammunition on my back
Now that I'm Miss Thing
Now that I'm a zillionaire
You scan the credits for your name
And wonder why it's not there

I see right through you
I know right through you
I feel right through you
I walk right through you

Is it wrong of me to say that I want to be a Pussy Cat Doll? Look at them!! They are all young gorgeous woman with confidence and great style, and they know how to dance. Yes, some of their movements can be a little riskay, but its not like they are doing porn or stripping! Just a thought I guess. I sure wouldn't mind walking a day in their shoes!!

So this was going around facebook so I decided I would give it a whirl. I found it a lot more difficult to write down 25 random things about myself than I thought it would be. So here it is below, 25 random things about myself if you care to read:


1. I think music is very powerful, its inspiring, deep, uplifting, and with the right songs its there to help you vent out all your feelings with out having to talk to some one.
2. I love to dance, its a great release and adrenaline rush and it just makes me feel wonderful
3. Most of my dancing back round is ballet
4. I smile alot, and most of the time I don't even realize that I am. I dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing.
5. I love the outdoors. The colors and the scenery can be breath taking, and the scent of fresh air is always uplifting. The main thing I love about the outdoors is the stars at night time.... just gorgeous.
6. I didn't start to like reading until a little over a year ago
7. I am a wallflower / observer. If I am quiet in a group gathering, this explains why.
8. Though dogs are cute, I am more of a cat person.
9. I could eat cereal all day every day... as long as it was the good kinds (froot loops, cocoa crispies, lucky charms, captain crunch, ext)
10. I haven't had a birthday party for myself since I was in middle school, and even then it was 2 to 3 months delayed. Why does my birthday have to be in such a busy holiday season?
11. My self confidence is low, and I get paranoid about people not liking me. I am currently working on those so I can improve myself and follow my New Years Resolutions.
12. I would totally live in the 60's/70's era if I could
13. I love fur boots and I would wear a pair everyday if I could. I wish I had more than just 1 pair
14. Public Speaking scares me
15. Traveling is something that I love and aspire to do. I want to travel the world someday soon.
16. I look back at my past and know I have done things I shouldn't have. I used to be a doormat and let people walk all over me and use me. I would do anything to make the people who really didn't matter in the end like me. All I would do is hurt myself or let others hurt me or get into trouble -- but everyone makes mistakes, and that is how we all grow and learn.
17. I know I am mature for my age. I have been told many times by quite a few people
18. I admire all different types of artwork.
19. I think living in Europe would be such a great experience and I would learn so much culture wise and see a plethora of breath taking scenery.
20. I believe in the paranormal and would like to go on a ghost hunt as an intern someday.
21. I did an internship at the Warwick Police Station in RI as a criminalist. It was a great experience. I learned about finger prints, blood spatter (that's right, spatter NOT splatter), I even was lucky enough to go to a few crime scenes and see a couple of dead bodies. This might be gross to most people but I found it interesting and I learned so much.
22. My ethnic back rounds consist of: Irish, Swedish, Italian, Cherokee Indian and English.
23. I have a abnormally long tongue and can touch it to my nose. Thank you dad!
24. I don't really watch TV that often.
25. I like dimly lit rooms with a few candles or Christmas lights hung along the ceiling.


Try it out and see for yourself!!

Ok, so I know I haven't updated this in a while and I have been meaning to so this is a well over due post.
This year I wanted to try a couple of other resolutions that I have never tried before, but I know that I need to improve on. This year I want to focus on being happy with myself (which doesn't happen often). I'm a very insecure, sometimes paranoid, self doubting person with low self esteem. I know that this all needs to change in order for me to pursue a happy lifestyle, and I am ready to take that leap this year.

New Years Resolutions

-Be more confident
-believe in yourself
-ban self doubt
-Relax and know that everything is going to be ok
-STOP thinking bad thoughts (only good happy ones)
-just breathe and STOP worrying
-Be more organized
-keep room clean
-put things back where they belong the moment your done with them
-keep an updated calendar
-be on top of everything


These are the major resolutions. Of coarse there are a few other resolutions that I did not post but they are not as important. I am hoping for major self improvements this year.

Just remember, Its fine in '09! Now go out there and live your life! This year is going to be a great one!
=)

Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room before?
Its ok if you have because you are not alone. I feel that way almost constantly. Like I am the odd ball out, and I am just there to fill space. Its like a case of the ugly duckling, or the kid who is just there and no one knows why. This is no pity party, believe me. I just feel like when I am around most people, they don't get me, and don't even try to. Very select people in this world actually know me for who I truly am. Don't get me wrong, I love socializing and being with a crowd who actually talks and can hold a conversation with me...... but I feel that most people don't even bother trying having a full out, deep conversaton with me. This is kind of depressing because I am a very deep person, I am a great listener and I have a great perspective on things.... people just dont even bother getting to know me. To them it seems that I am just there and they just accept me into their "groups" because they have to. They peg me with names to joke around and such, but I know even though they are joking around they actually do mean what they say(sadly). If they didnt mean it, they would actually be able to sit down and have a full out conversation with me.... but they don't. I know when people joke around with me that it is all in good humor and they dont mean to hurt me..... but after a while it starts to eat away and hurt more. I just wish everyone knew me for who I am and not take me for granted.
Until then, I remain the odd ball out, the fly on the wall... just taking up space waiting for someone to reach out to me.

The Christmas season is the most wonderful time of the year (well most would say)......This time is also very stressful as well, even for me.... but i am not going to get into the whole stressful part in this post.... .
With all the festive music and decorations, its hard not to be cheerful and jolly. So needless to say, all this Christmas spirit and such does put me in a good mood.
This year I really want to say how very thankful I am for the joy and love my friends and family bring to me. With out them, I have absolutely no idea where I would be. They have done so much for me in so many different ways and I have no idea how to thank them enough. The impact that they have made on me has completely changed my life around.
I remember being younger and actually having a list of toys and such that I really wanted "Santa" to bring for me on Christmas day. The older I have become, the less that has been on my list. In fact I haven't had anything on my list for myself the past couple of years. I have realized that as long as I have my friends and family, and I am doing what I love and what makes me happy, I am completely content with everything.

So just to be slightly annoying, I have put some select lyrics from "My Grown Up Christmas List"
hahahah oh jeepers

"No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list"