put your arms around my soul and take it dancing

Ok, so I know I haven't updated this in a while and I have been meaning to so this is a well over due post.
This year I wanted to try a couple of other resolutions that I have never tried before, but I know that I need to improve on. This year I want to focus on being happy with myself (which doesn't happen often). I'm a very insecure, sometimes paranoid, self doubting person with low self esteem. I know that this all needs to change in order for me to pursue a happy lifestyle, and I am ready to take that leap this year.

New Years Resolutions

-Be more confident
-believe in yourself
-ban self doubt
-Relax and know that everything is going to be ok
-STOP thinking bad thoughts (only good happy ones)
-just breathe and STOP worrying
-Be more organized
-keep room clean
-put things back where they belong the moment your done with them
-keep an updated calendar
-be on top of everything


These are the major resolutions. Of coarse there are a few other resolutions that I did not post but they are not as important. I am hoping for major self improvements this year.

Just remember, Its fine in '09! Now go out there and live your life! This year is going to be a great one!
=)

Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room before?
Its ok if you have because you are not alone. I feel that way almost constantly. Like I am the odd ball out, and I am just there to fill space. Its like a case of the ugly duckling, or the kid who is just there and no one knows why. This is no pity party, believe me. I just feel like when I am around most people, they don't get me, and don't even try to. Very select people in this world actually know me for who I truly am. Don't get me wrong, I love socializing and being with a crowd who actually talks and can hold a conversation with me...... but I feel that most people don't even bother trying having a full out, deep conversaton with me. This is kind of depressing because I am a very deep person, I am a great listener and I have a great perspective on things.... people just dont even bother getting to know me. To them it seems that I am just there and they just accept me into their "groups" because they have to. They peg me with names to joke around and such, but I know even though they are joking around they actually do mean what they say(sadly). If they didnt mean it, they would actually be able to sit down and have a full out conversation with me.... but they don't. I know when people joke around with me that it is all in good humor and they dont mean to hurt me..... but after a while it starts to eat away and hurt more. I just wish everyone knew me for who I am and not take me for granted.
Until then, I remain the odd ball out, the fly on the wall... just taking up space waiting for someone to reach out to me.

The Christmas season is the most wonderful time of the year (well most would say)......This time is also very stressful as well, even for me.... but i am not going to get into the whole stressful part in this post.... .
With all the festive music and decorations, its hard not to be cheerful and jolly. So needless to say, all this Christmas spirit and such does put me in a good mood.
This year I really want to say how very thankful I am for the joy and love my friends and family bring to me. With out them, I have absolutely no idea where I would be. They have done so much for me in so many different ways and I have no idea how to thank them enough. The impact that they have made on me has completely changed my life around.
I remember being younger and actually having a list of toys and such that I really wanted "Santa" to bring for me on Christmas day. The older I have become, the less that has been on my list. In fact I haven't had anything on my list for myself the past couple of years. I have realized that as long as I have my friends and family, and I am doing what I love and what makes me happy, I am completely content with everything.

So just to be slightly annoying, I have put some select lyrics from "My Grown Up Christmas List"
hahahah oh jeepers

"No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list"

What would be good sign that its time to do laundry?
Probably when your clothes hamper looks like this:





......Except imagine that and multiply it by two. That is how much laundry I have to get done. So I name today as "Laundry Day."
I believe I have about 4/5 large loads to do ..... and that's cramming as many clothes into the washing machine as possible.
Looks like I will be completely occupied today.

ooh sad thing...... I ran out of laundry detergent..... looks like I will be making a quick stop to Publix soon!!!

Its so annoying to get a flat tire. Its even more obnoxious to get a second flat tire a week later! The first flat tire was fine because it was just a nail in the tire slowly deflating, so cheap and easy to fix. The second one was Halloween night arriving at my friend Dusty's house. The tire completely popped and I have no idea how it happened. Later that night, Dusty put my already used donut/spare tire on there so I could atleast drive home. The sucky part of this is not only the expense of having to get a new tire, but to try and find rides to work, and if no one is willing to helo you out, you have to call in. Today was one of those days that no one would give me a ride, so I wound up calling in today..... pissed because I need the money... but when I looked at my donut/spare this morning, it was flat. Now I have to pay for towing as well!! Ugh!!!

Saw this during rehearsals last night and it pretty much changed my mood for the better....... great more quotes to say while working... just what i love =)

Oh yes folks... Britney is back and looking FIERCE! YES MA'ME!!! This song is quite catchy =)